Living Authentically: The Power of Inside-Out Growth
Without knowing I lived my life from the outside in, taking cues on how to live my life from friends, family work colleagues... turning this around and finding the value and power of working from within has transformed my life.
Having the opportunity to help others live more intrinsically is the ultimate motivation for the work I do whether it be managing teams or coaching clients.
By living more intrinsically I have experienced a powerful change and it motivated me to do some research, below is what I found.
In a world dominated by overwhelming external expectations—whether from social media, advertising, or societal norms—it’s easy to feel lost in the noise. Many of us unknowingly live “from the outside in,” shaping our choices and identities based on what others think or expect. But what if the key to true happiness and fulfillment lies in reversing this approach?
Coaching provides a pathway to align with your inner values, enabling you to live “from the inside out.” Let’s explore why this shift is transformational, supported by leading psychological research.
What does it mean to live “from the inside out”?
Living “from the inside out” means grounding your decisions and actions in your core values, intrinsic motivations, and authentic self rather than being driven by external validation, pressures, or borrowed beliefs. For me, this meant understanding my values and developing a deeper sense of who I am. I used to be a chameleon showing up differently depending on the context I found myself in. Now, I’ve integrated past iterations of myself into a more expansive and complete identity leading me to be more focused on how I show up in the world than on what I want to do—the “what” now flows naturally from my “how.”
According to Self-Determination Theory (SDT), developed by psychologists Deci and Ryan, intrinsic motivation—rooted in autonomy, competence, and connection—is the foundation of personal growth and well-being. Conversely, living “from the outside in” often involves pursuing extrinsic goals, like seeking approval, wealth, or status, which research shows can lead to stress, dissatisfaction, and burnout.
This resonates deeply with my personal experience. I once felt like a resilient warrior battling through life, but it was exhausting. Now, life flows more easily. There’s no pretense—I’m no longer trying to be anything; I’m simply myself.
Why external pressures aren’t enough
Modern life bombards us with messages about how we should live. From curated social media feeds to societal norms, these external influences often dictate our choices. However, research shows that such extrinsic motivators can:
Undermine intrinsic motivation by fostering reliance on external validation.
Create feelings of helplessness when external goals are unattainable.
Stifle creativity and growth by prioritizing conformity over self-expression.
For instance, workplaces that emphasize autonomy and internal values consistently report higher satisfaction and performance than those focused solely on external rewards like promotions or bonuses.
The benefits of living authentically
When you start living from the inside out, you unlock greater resilience, joy, and fulfillment. Here’s what you can experience:
Improved Mental Health: Intrinsic motivation reduces anxiety and enhances emotional well-being.
Enhanced Life Satisfaction: Focusing on personal growth and meaningful relationships fosters a deeper sense of purpose.
Sustainable Motivation: Intrinsic goals—like learning or helping others—are more enduring than fleeting external rewards.
For me, this transformation began with understanding who I am and what matters most. I now connect with others more deeply, feel greater compassion, and experience more happiness. By being kinder to myself, I’ve explored and healed old wounds, allowing me to grow. This journey also led to an ADHD diagnosis, and with the right support, I’ve become more focused, confident, and capable.
Finding joy through intrinsic motivation has inspired me to help others experience the same transformation, it is just who I am.
Coaching as the bridge to your authentic self
Coaching is a powerful tool for cultivating self-awareness and aligning your life with your intrinsic values. With coaching, you can:
Clarify your core values and aspirations.
Build confidence to make choices that reflect your authentic self.
Thrive under pressure by cultivating autonomy and mindfulness.
As the Positive Psychology framework highlights, autonomy and self-awareness are critical for navigating external pressures and staying true to yourself. Coaching provides the support needed to develop this mindset, empowering you to thrive.
Find your voice amid the noise
Amid today’s overwhelming messages, finding your voice is more important than ever. By focusing inward, you can create a life that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations. Coaching offers a space to explore this transformation, helping you live with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
Are you ready to start your journey? Let’s work together to support your inside-out transformation.
Sources:
For more on the science of self-determination and intrinsic motivation, explore the Self-Determination Theory website , Positive Psychology overview, Verywell Mind, International Journal of Manpower Changes in athlete burnout and motivation over a 12-week league tournament
Beyond the Classroom: Empowering Young People with Real-World Skills and Self-Discovery
Developing life skills to empower young people
Education is the cornerstone of growth, but today, traditional schooling is only one piece of a much larger puzzle. Academic knowledge provides a foundation, but young people often leave school unprepared for the challenges of the real world. At Brixton Surf Club, we see every day how life skills, self-discovery, and mentorship are essential to shaping resilient, well-rounded individuals. Below take a look at the key life skills every young person needs, the importance of self-discovery, and a summary of some of the feedback we have received from our members.
Traditional Education vs. Real-World Skills
Our education system does an admirable job of teaching subjects like history, math, and science. Yet, the classroom is a structured space where conformity is the norm, and young people often leave school without the tools to navigate life on their terms, guided by their own values. This gap can lead them to adopt values from harmful influencers or drift along passively, unable to find their true path, which can lead to dissatisfaction later in life.
Expecting young people to implicitly develop resilience, emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution skills outside of school—without support—can be unrealistic. Likewise, essential life skills like financial literacy and budgeting are often left unaddressed, making it harder for them to make informed choices as adults.
I believe each generation can advance beyond the last. With what we now know about emotional intelligence, well-being, and mental health, this generation has the potential to thrive in ways we could only dream of. Can their path be smoother and even more impactful than our own?
At Brixton Surf Club, we work with young people aged 11 to 16 from diverse backgrounds, teaching them the skills they need beyond the classroom and preparing them to thrive in every aspect of life.
Key Life Skills for Thriving in a Changing World
Through our work at Brixton Surf Club, we’ve identified core life skills that make a profound difference for young people:
Resilience: Life is full of ups and downs, and resilience is about navigating setbacks with strength and adaptability. We help young people build resilience by encouraging them to take risks, try new things, and work through challenges. We empower them to take control of their lives.
Self-Confidence: Confidence isn’t built overnight; it’s cultivated through small victories and consistent effort. Surfing, it turns out, is an amazing confidence builder! Many of our young attendees discover that learning to tackle waves translates directly into feeling more capable in other areas of their lives.
Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and managing emotions is crucial for healthy relationships and effective communication. Emotions guide us through life, yet many young people lack the awareness to interpret them. Through light-touch group discussions and reflections, our attendees learn ways to express themselves and empathise with others.
Financial Literacy and Planning: Although we don’t run a finance course, we emphasise planning for the future, setting goals, and making informed choices. During our trips, young people manage every aspect of their experience, including budgeting. Even small discussions about savings and planning can make a significant difference as they grow.
Self-Discovery: The Foundation of True Growth
Young people are often asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" but they’re rarely given the time and space to explore who they are. Self-discovery is the foundation of true growth. Understanding one’s values, strengths, and passions is as important as any academic achievement.
At Brixton Surf Club, we encourage young people to reflect on what makes them feel alive and connected. Through mentoring, creative exercises, and group discussions, they explore who they are beyond the expectations of others. When a young person connects with their true self, they gain a sense of direction and confidence that can propel them forward in every area of life.
Stories from Brixton Surf Club
Confidentiality is vital at The Brixton Surf Club, but I can share a summary of the feedback we receive from participants, which has been heartwarming.
If there is one consistent theme in all the feedback? It was fun! We are not putting young people through a gruelling experience. The challenges young people may face are all different, from persevering in cold water and enjoying the waves they caught at the end of the session; to trying new foods and eating more healthily, each of these helped them to develop confidence as they stepped out of their comfort zones. Some have reported positive changes in how they connect with their families.
We’ve seen individuals use this experience to transform their lives, taking on responsibility for their ongoing personal development and applying their newfound confidence to jobs. Our trips are exciting and engaging, providing personal growth opportunities in a way that feels natural and enjoyable.
Empowering the Next Generation
At Brixton Surf Club, we see the impact that life skills and self-discovery can have on young people every day. Traditional education is essential, but when it’s paired with practical skills, resilience, and self-awareness, young people are empowered to navigate life with confidence and purpose. As we continue to support the young people in our community, we’re inspired by a generation equipped not only with knowledge but with the wisdom and strength to create lives they can be proud of.